Moving from Duality to Unity

Are you feeling comfortable with the way reality is unfolding? Do you question whether you have any influence or control over things anymore? I’ve been reflecting on the current global situation and these reflections are connected with what I see happening in my own country. These are not easy times. These are rapidly changing times with no guarantees of certainty around anything, except the possibility of further changes and disruptions. Normalcy no longer exists. Yet, what can be done to support constructive changes? How can you and I in any way influence the outcomes that are still to manifest into reality?

The words ‘unity’ and ‘duality’ keep popping into mind. This I find tantalizing. What do they convey and how are they relevant to current issues?

When I reflect on the word ‘duality’ I observe that our co-created existence has its roots and basis in this construct, in all areas of life. Duality exists in politics, religion, business, competition, sports, race, ageism, sexism etc. Duality permeates every area of life and it seeps into and becomes embedded into language, everyday functioning, rules and regulations that are administered. Duality is what you are born into and it’s so entrenched that it becomes an unconscious mechanism for how life is lived. Beliefs are shaped by life experiences, just as fears are shaped by perceptions, beliefs and experiences. Duality has led to, and perpetuates the idea of differences and separation.

I’m summarizing this very briefly, hoping to stir your memories where you’ve witnessed or even experienced a Them versus Us situation or system. My understanding is that this division in perception and beliefs become habits that are fully embedded within societal functioning, thereby furthering the sense of alienation and separation. Your understanding and perceptions around this duality that’s been co-created is that possibly this is how things are meant to be. In fact, I’d suggest that the normalization of duality throughout countless facets of our culture has been highly successful.

Will duality improve, enhance, support each and every member of society? Will it ensure an equal and harmonious quality of life? Or will the perceived differences between Them and Us fester and strengthen, resulting in continued conflict, anger, judgment, mistrust etc?

As my musings have gone down this path I’ve come to the conclusion that a co-created duality culture is damaging to such a degree that the only option left is, as a culture, to begin formulating strategies and ways of creating unity in everyday life. In other words, it’s up to you and I and all people interested in creating a new, healthier reality.

All change begins from within. Gandhi said words to the effect, “You must be the change you wish for”. What does this mean? And how can this shift within manifest significantly to create unity changes through all layers of society?

How you choose to work in unity, rather than duality, is your responsibility. Your implementation of living in unity with others may differ from how another person chooses to do it. However, I firmly believe that shifting from a Them and Us judgmental and intolerant perspective to a We perspective is the beginning of creating a real change in the world.

Adhering to the meaning of the Gandhi statement I’ve been observing my responses to what I hear, witness and understand from the world around me. Through a process of mindfulness I’m finding that my language is changing. Words are powerful, they hold energy. Emotions are powerful and also hold energy. Words/thoughts combined with action are even more potent.

My process for this has been influenced by the conversations I have with my youngest son. He’s intelligent and articulate and often we engage in what would appear to be disagreements on issues such as politics, religion, economy etc. Ironically it soon became apparent that we were often of a similar mindset, we simply approached our understanding and experiences from a different perspective. These lively discussions have enabled me to open my eyes further, in terms of understanding and acceptance. Giving credit and acknowledgement has become an important ingredient in conversations. In many instances my children have become my teachers due to their sharing and wisdom.

A repeated statement, We’re  all in this together, has become the slogan for the Covid health issue in Australia. When I reflect on this statement there’s a much broader implication and application. Nowadays my understanding of this is that there’s no such thing as separation. “You hold a perception, I hold a perception so let’s talk about it.” In other words, what are the commonalities? How is it possible to allay fears and garner strength? What can I share and learn from you, and you from me? How can we reconcile and accept differences, and work with them to create bridges to understanding?

Listening, reflecting and a willingness to accept different perspectives without judgment is an indication of maturity. It’s what happens when the changes within deepen and emerge to embrace a new understanding of unity and oneness.

There are many steps to this process of shifting from duality to unity. Working with the power of language is only one aspect of the process. Developing empathy supports the process. Willingness to let go of dated beliefs and to embrace new perspectives helps. Listening instead of wanting to be heard all the time develops understanding. Attempting to view the world through the eyes of another person’s experiences may provide new insights. Caring and sharing as often as possible enhances the unity process.

I feel strongly that if there’s anything that can help change the uncertainty and fear in the world then the practice of developing Unity is important. The long held deeply entrenched constructs of separation, duality and differences must, in some way, be minimized and ultimately removed from our culture. We’re all in this together, and it’s up to us to make a massive difference in the world.

What are your thoughts on this subject? Is it possible to shift the focus from duality to unity, from separation to oneness? What techniques and strategies can be developed? How can each person make a difference? What is the long term potential for manifesting such a shift?

These are some of the many questions that can be asked of everyone. I used to believe that one person could not make a difference in the world. Now I see it’s possible. Planting a seed of possibility has the potential to manifest life changing realities. So I ask you to consider the ways in which you are able to contribute to shifting the focus from duality to unity? Every small contribution (words, thoughts, actions) adds to the energy of creating constructive, beneficial shifts.

Dynamics of Change Process

It’s yet another new year and I trust that it has begun effortlessly. Have you determined to fulfil some New Year’s resolutions? And, if so, what are your chances of succeeding?

It seems that generally New Year’s resolutions often end up going by the wayside, possibly because the targets or goals set are too difficult for the individual to maintain consistently. 

Once the feeling of failure enters any situation the most likely response and perception is that, “This is too hard maybe I’ll be ready for this change next year”. After several years of following this pattern the individual then finally gives up attempting to make the changes required to give up addictions, to eat healthier, to lose weight, etc. Or, as is sometimes the case the individual begins to make some real progress with their resolution but as time progresses find their resolve weakens and eventually there is a reversal to previous behaviour patterns.

What is the dynamic that keeps us stuck in behavioural patterns? How do emotions contribute to this?

In his powerful research nearly one hundred years ago, Napolean Hill, found a recurring pattern taking place with individuals who aspired to follow their passion, their dream. He records this beautifully in Think and Grow Rich, a book that’s as widely relevant today as it was when published.

Hill found that highly successful people hold deep convictions – and determination – to succeed. They hold faith in their aspirations. But, interestingly, every person who succeeds does not give up when the going gets really tough. Hill identified a phase that occurs just before success is within grasp. This phase we would probably label as “the darkest hour before dawn”.

It is this incredibly dark and challenging time that separates successful people from those who fail to reach their goals. Pushing forward when most challenged is what produces desired results. In fact, those perceived insurmountable challenges can be viewed as necessary precursors to creating lasting change.

We live in a world filled with uncertainty and constant change. Regardless of whether or not New Year’s resolutions are made we are continually faced with situations that require change in some form or another. When there is a resistance to change this results in feelings of dis-empowerment, helplessness and also possibly intense emotions such as anger or apathy.

Human emotions, belief systems and behavioural patterns all contribute, and respond, to the change processes as they occur. These factors can be viewed as either detrimental or supportive. It is basically a matter of how they are perceived.

For example, when faced with a challenge that poses the opportunity for change occurring on some level do you resist, viewing it as a potential threat to your existence? Or, do you view the challenge as possibly having some potential for positive change, maybe even new opportunities?

Some years ago I encountered a research article about vision and beliefs. The research demonstrated that it’s not a matter of believing what is seen but is actually the reverse – we see what we believe! This indicates that our belief systems actually create our reality. Beliefs are basically perceptions that we hold around people, issues and the world at large that have been inculcated via generational patterning, repetition and acceptance of the status quo. 

Over time, due to the repetitive nature of beliefs (perceptions), they become ‘truth’. And, it becomes all too easy to accept as complete truth beliefs that actually have little or no real basis in reality. In my book, The New World of Self Healing, I write, “You believe what you know. What you come to know becomes your truth. Your view of what is true comes from your observation of the world and is greatly shaped by the beliefs and knowledge you have acquired.”

While this may sound somewhat convoluted I believe that this actually means there is an opportunity to dismantle erroneous beliefs and to open to new, and often healthier, ways of perceiving yourself and reality. If a belief is merely the creation and repetition of thoughts and emotions then conscious application and intention to change can create positive and desired outcomes.

How does this process work? How can simple changes in thought and intention manifest desired, lasting and meaningful changes?

Some common limitations to manifesting positive change include:

  • Lack of self worth. This includes I’m not good enough, not intelligent enough, not pretty enough, etc.
  • Self hatred or dissatisfaction with self. This includes abusive thoughts, emotions and behaviours towards the self.
  • Feelings of victimhood and disempowerment.
  • Reliance on external validation in order to feel accepted.
  • Believing other peoples’ needs and emotions are more important.

Becoming the observer, or witness, to your emotions and beliefs is an easy step to changing beliefs and truths. Some questions to ask are:

  • Why do I believe this?
  • What is the belief underlying this emotion or reaction?
  • Is there any validity to the belief?
  • Where does this belief originate?
  • Does this belief serve me well now?
  • If not, what is the appropriate belief (and behaviour) to replace it with?

 Once there is understanding around beliefs and truths then it’s a matter of consciously and consistently creating new, positive and supportive attitudes and actions. Letting go of old beliefs requires significant inner work. It necessitates conscious awareness of patterns that have become habituated, along with a willingness to let go of those that no longer serve your highest good. In other words, anything that doesn’t feel good, that inhibits your growth as a human being and that limits your enjoyment of life needs to be released with love.

A number of strategies can assist in releasing limiting patterns and behaviours.

  1. Meditation is a powerful tool for letting go. Setting the intention to release with love all that no longer serves your highest good, then going into a meditative state and visualizing the old limitations releasing assists in releasing the layers of cellular memory.
  2. Make a declaration of release. This facilitates the release of stagnant energy memory. Choose your own meaningful statement or possibly something like this, “I release with love all emotions and thoughts that have contributed to…… I release them from all times, planes and dimensions. I replace them with the energy of unconditional love and know the Universe provides abundance in all things.”
  3. Old habits have a way of resurfacing. You have the power to change the old patterns of response and functioning. Whenever a thought intrudes that you are not good enough, lack talent, etc then affirm aloud the exact opposite. Affirm that you are successful, that you are deserving, etc. In other words, you are re-programming your consciousness when undertaking this process.
  4. Write lists of all your special skills, talents and qualities. Write lists of how other people see you. Listing these is very revealing. When doing this you may have awareness of some negative qualities you wish to change. If so, write them as a positive statement and describe how you will achieve this intended change. Refer to the lists as often as you choose. Use them in affirming ways in everyday life situations. Continual reinforcement of your worth and success will pay dividends.

Gandhi is often quoted as saying, You must be the change you wish to see in the world. Changing from within is essential to this process. All the New Years’ resolutions will only succeed insofar as there has been sufficient inner change to create the external changes.

Popular literature often uses the words ‘self sabotage’ to describe our failure to fulfil our desires. While this term is widely understood and even hints at failure I much prefer to focus on the concept of re-programming. This is because our beliefs, thoughts, emotions, etc have all been programmed into our conscious and sub-conscious minds via our life experiences. Consequently, being such powerful beings we have the power to re-program those aspects of our character and behaviours that we know are detrimental to our health and wellbeing.

The journey of inner change and growth is essential to the creation of an external reality that has equity, generosity, shared community values, co-operation, and so on. The global changes we all hope to see in our lifetime will only occur when we undertake the work necessary to change the inner landscape.